***Lady Velvets thoughts: Well at least she died happy!***

CBC News

A Quebec man may face criminal charges after a woman died while they were having sadomasochistic sex.

The 39-year-old woman died Saturday night in a home in Saint-Bruno-de-Montarville on Montreal’s South Shore, police said.

She went into cardiac arrest while engaging in “out of the ordinary” sexual practices using “very particular” accessories, said Longueuil police agent Martin Simard.

When police arrived at the residence on Sommet-Trinité Street, the man was trying to resuscitate the woman, but she died, Simard said.

Police say they found torture devices in the homes, but would not give specifics.

The man was arrested and questioned but released without charge, police said.

Investigators are waiting for the autopsy report to determine if he’ll be charged with criminal negligence causing death.

Come back and visit Lady Velvet at her site at: www.ladyvelvetnoir.com

Typically most people see BDSM in different light. Just like someone would see a painting, or photograph or even interpret a poem. That holds true for any local community that you might come across. Everyone having their own set of rules but for any intense and purpose, most have standards that are included.

At the risk of sounding cliche’, the first one rings true for pretty much everyone and everywhere:

What happens at a party, munch or gathering, stays there.

To most, that would be a given, but you would be surprised how many have ignored that rule and embarrassed themselves by blabbing about so and so’s attendance at this party THEY were at!? How smart is that?

Another real strong rule that I feel is crucial is that most people, when playing in a group environment SHOULD not only bring their own toys, but maybe someone to use them on?! It is considered a taboo, unless you are handed the implement by the owner, to reach for something that doesn’t belong to you. Which includes, toys AND property. I think of it as the same rule that would apply to a sword, knife or gun. If it’s not yours, don’t touch it, and if you do, be sure you know how to use it effectively because I will consider it a threat on my person and property.

A HUGE rule that I enforce with every bit of Myself is that NO ONE, unless there is a Dungeon Master with the responsibility of doing so, should interrupt or intrude on a scene. I personally have had a submissive in good sub-space and had the individual witnessing the scene touch and attempt to talk to her. Bless her, at which time, she turned and looked at him only to get the words “Shut up! Your fucking up a good buzz.” All I could do is laugh. If you are uncomfortable with what you are witnessing, why stay? Get up and slowly leave the room to see what is comfortable for you.

I hope, and this is just My opinion, that in most cases any illegal or controlled substances are not allowed if play is to take place. I hestitate to even condone playtime should the person be on aspirin, or a glass of wine. I watch closely what the intake is of my partners and will not play should they chose to indulge.

As a whole, basic etiquette for any Nilla party should be put on at any BDSM party. However, remember, Rules between individuals vary so much that there is no way to tell if something is OK to do or discuss without at least inquiring to make sure that you are not promotion the infraction. If you don’t know…..ASK!

And please remember, just because your rules might be different from someone else’s, doesn’t give us the right to judge the way their life is led. This is definitely not a life for closed minded and judgmental individuals.

After a simple misunderstanding of time zones and a few days of waiting, I finally had the opportunity to speak with the wonderful Lady Velvet (M’Lady). She took a moment to ask a few questions about who I was and what I was looking for, then completely took the reins. Her natural dominance and intellect had me under her spell in moments. Lady Velvet (M’Lady) kept me in my place, while maintaining a very comfortable level of professionalism. Lady Velvet (M’Lady) is by far the best I have come across. Her sexy voice commands control of the conversation, making you powerless. Absolutely Amazing!!!

You want to do what with what?!

Normally for a new submissive, that would be the first question on their mind and the first words out of their mouth when the words “Fire Play” are muttered into a negotiation of scene. However, most good well seasoned Dom’s won’t even attempt the fire play until they have either practiced considerably and know what they are doing and the safest way to do it. They key to learning to love this is knowing that safety is a priority and that you trust the one you are with!

There are several ways of playing with fire (no pun intended), the cupping method being one of them. Typically I like to use three parts of 90% alcohol with a one part of the lesser stuff (70%) giving just enough alcohol in the brew to be ignited, but not burn too hot. I have seen many ways in which this has been done, but I like to use a small spray bottle and spray 2 or 3 sprays in the cup and igniting it with a long candle lighter, blowing out the flame and then placing the cup over the bottoms skin.

The areas I enjoy using are breasts, thighs, buttocks and the back as well.

Once the flame is blown out the hot air as it cools, creates a vaccum sucking the skin up into the cup and holding fast to the flesh that it’s attached to. The larger the cup, the more surface area and the more surface area, the larger the pull. Most of which are not painful to the submissive but typically can easily create a bruise in the right areas. My favorite is drawing small pictures and sometimes finding unusual candle holder’s and shapes to create different types of bruises.

A more dangerous and edgier type of play with fire is utilizing a small wand and 70% alcohol in drawing lines and figures across an individuals back (and sometimes chest depending on the amount of body hair). Once the wand, tipped with guaze (it doesn’t burn nearly as fast as cotton) and doused in alcohol is drug over the skin and removed, another wand that is lit is tapped lightly to the skin. You get the “Lethal Weapon” approach to fire and fuel but the beauty of it is the visual affect of the skin that it floats over. Most of the time, the same path can be lit, doused, and relit to ‘heat’ the area several times over, but remember… watch your sub’s reaction. This process can heat up an area over and over again and if the skin is thin or sensitive to heat, you could do some major damage. So I beg of anyone who wishes to attempt this to do two things:

1. Get someone who is seasoned in this type of play and who you trust to give you a hands-on demonstration of what it feels like; and
2. Practice, practice, practice… on yourself!

I have played many times with fire, and watched some beautiful orchestrated scenes that incorporate fire that could have easily turned very dangerous had anyone in that part been uneducated and distracted from their situation.

The last and final way that I have seen fire play has been using flash cotton. Flash cotton is normally something that you can see magicians used for the ‘fire-in-the-hand-now-here-is-a-dove” type of trick. Made from a substance called nitrocellulose this is a much safer way to play with fire than the alcohol technique mentioned above, but at the same time, it goes up in a flash! Using smaller and thiner threads from the packages the lighter the heat, the thicker the fibers, the more intense. Starting out small is always a good idea so that you and your partner can get yourselves built up to a trust and more confident manner when playing with fire.

Please remember, this is NOT a technique that is to be taken lightly or done without being taught proper safety precautions and with a great deal of practice and trust.

To learn more about this or any other part of this BDSM Lifestyle, visit: www.ladyvelvetnoir.com

There are two styles of Bondage that are generally catagorized as either “Western” or “Eastern.”  I am fond of both, but find a great deal of artistic value in the Eastern or Shibari type of bondage.

History has documented that Shibari was more than likely produced for the purpose imprisonment due to the lack of formal prisons and the raw resource in metals in the 1400’s. This was identified as “kinbaku-bi” during the time period and still to this day hemp and jute rope are still carried in the police vehicles of today.

Kinbaku-bi is translated as “The Art of Erotic Rope Bondage” and has been photo documented as far back as the 1920’s.  Although those pieces are almost impossible to find, there has been a constant evolvement of the practice today.

Shibari is translated as the term “to tie” or “to bind”.

One of the main differences we see between Western and Kinbaku-bi bondage is that the submissive/bottom enjoys the torture or torment gained from the Kinbaku-bi style because of the pain/pleasure that is recieved from the rope on the genitals and breasts.  Instead of just imobilizing like Western bondage, the Shibari technique produces that fine line of pain and pleasure that most submissives seek.

Shibari is well known for it’s asymmetrical and asthetically pleasing site.  I personal am a very symetrical individual and I still enjoy the beauty and artistic value that Shibari rope bondage provides when a submissive is trussed up in hemp or jute rope.

Although the Western bondage providers have come up with more complex knots to use, Shibari, despite the complexity of it’s appearance, uses relative 4 to 5 different types of very simplistic knots.  Most placed in strategic points to give not only safety, but just the right amount of nerve stimulation to keep the submissive on their toes (no pun intended).

I have seen hundreds of yards of rope to just a few feet of it used in some of the most intricate and simplistic but very effective bondage scenes.  I personally have used rope under clothing as well as over clothing in certain environments to provide a highly aroused submissive with not only visual stimulation but mental as well.  A rubbing of a piece of rope in the right place can only keep a submissive in the mind set of who they are and where they belong.

I have participating in intense suspension hangings where I have watched  submissives float in complete freedom from the ‘real world’ and into their zone where they have remained for hours.  Each of these submissives varied highly in height, weight and in experience and each one of them, the tie was different and they all found themselves very much enlightened and a new lover of rope.

Remember though, that as some of my news articles have depicted, once you have someone in bondage, of ANY type, that leaving them alone for ANY duration is highly dangerous.

Some of us love rope, some of us find it a nusance but those that love it always find new ways of using it as an enticing and very beautiful way of stimulating the minds and bodies of those that allow us to use it.

To learn more about this lifestyle or to read more about Lady Velvet, visit: www.LadyVelvetNoir.com

**Lady V’s Thought: And to think, there are tons of us PSO’s out there just WAITING for people like him to call!  And it’s LEGAL!**

Tokyo - A lonely Japanese man has been arrested for allegedly calling directory assistance thousands of times because he liked to be scolded by female operators, police and reports said on Wednesday.

Takahiro Fujinuma - who is 37, single and unemployed - reportedly would whisper “darling” as he tried to start a conversation and then pleaded with operators not to hang up.

He was arrested Tuesday in Tokyo on charges of obstructing the business of service operator NTT Solco, part of telecom giant Nippon Telegraph and Telephone.

He placed 2 600 calls to directory help - reached in Japan by dialling 104 - between early June and mid-November, a police spokesperson said.

But Japanese media said he is suspected of starting his habit in 2004 and calling 104 more than 10 000 times.

He reportedly told police that he was lonely and grew to enjoy annoying the operators.

“I would go into ecstasy when a lady scolded me,” he said, as quoted by Jiji Press.

Telephone operators - who in Japan are almost always women - nicknamed him the “don’t-hang-up-man”.

His calls usually came late and sometimes exceeded 200 times a night, Jiji Press said.

KINKY CLUBGOER IS CHOKED NEAR DEATH

By RICHARD WILNER, LARRY CELONA and LUKAS I. ALPERT

S&M MISHAP: Police seize bags ID’d as leather straps from The Nutcracker Suite sex club, but they did not arrest dominatrix Taki Noriko.

February 9, 2008 — A leather-loving submissive was clinging to life yesterday after a freak accident at a Midtown bondage club cut off oxygen to his brain, law-enforcement sources said.

A dominatrix at The Nutcracker Suite on East 33rd Street called 911 at about 1:30 a.m. after finding the hooded man turning blue in a dungeon room as he hung by his arms.

He was also wearing nipple clamps, a dog collar and women’s high-heeled shoes, and his hands were cuffed behind his back, sources said.

The man was rushed to St. Vincent’s Hospital, where he was put on a respirator, sources said. It was believed he had suffered brain damage due to lack of oxygen.

In keeping with the secretive nature of the S&M scene, the man was carrying no identification and only signed the name “Roger” in the pain palace’s guest registry. But sources said he was a regular at the club.

Cops were using his MetroCard to try to track his movements and identify him.

His particular fetish was to have himself trussed up and left alone. The mistress he was working with, Taki Noriko, 30, of Williamsburg, told police that she elevated him just enough to cause discomfort but that his feet were still on the floor.

“It was an accident,” Noriko told The Post.

She said that she checked on him every 20 minutes. At first, he was fine, but when she went in a second time, she found that his foot had slipped out of the shoe and was turning blue.

Police took Noriko, several other whip-toting mistresses and the club’s manager in for questioning, but no charges were filed. One woman was arrested on an outstanding and unrelated warrant.

Cops removed several bags of evidence from the club, including one labeled “1 [one] black leather restraint.”

While S&M activities are not illegal, the state penal code seems to leave open the possibility that those involved could be charged with assault - or even manslaughter if the man were to die - if a grand jury were to rule they acted recklessly.

The club, which is tucked away in a suite in a nondescript Midtown office building near the Empire State Building, has operated for more than a decade and is a well-known masochist mecca among devotees of the bondage scene.

The erotic emporium was once featured in a 15-minute documentary called “Paradise Bound,” which screened at the Sundance Festival in 1996.

“It’s a lot more common than you think. It’s lawyers, doctors, athletes, everybody,” co-owner Robert Fluty said in the film.

Fluty could not be reached for comment, and messages left on the club’s voice mail were not returned.

On its Web site, the club lists candle-wax dripping, electrostimulation, bondage, role play and flogging among its services. Sessions cost $185 dollars an hour and are by appointment only.

Rooms are thematic and feature floor-to-ceiling mirrors, bondage beds and trusses.

One room, called The Inquisition Lair, features a leather-strap cage and a St. Andrew’s Cross.

Another called “The Clinic,” is described as “the ultimate for medical role play.”

Additional reporting by Philip Messing, Rebecca Rosenberg and John Mazor

The world of BDSM has opened to those who have not had the ability to come out of the closet and experience it first hand. It has been opened by the Internet. The World Wide Web. An amazing world that originally started with small groups called “BBSs” has now grown into a multi-million dollar industry that is now becoming more and more accepted as people start to find themselves and others like them. Now, all of a sudden “we” no longer are “sick” or “demented” but a group of lucatrive people who are endorphine junkies.

However, since the invention of the wheel, criminals have found a way to exploit it. BDSM is absolutely not hidden from the ‘criminal’ or ‘predator’ element. In fact, it seems however, that they have flocked to us as a way to blend in. Their presence is not limited to the online element, as it seems that somewhere in just about every community, we have run into a sexual predator or pedophile in the group.

The problem now is more difficult in finding the predator who only sits behind the keyboard of a computer and deciphering the difference between what we find morally offensive and what is legally offensive from those that we meet at munches and parties.

Some standards that I have set forth are pretty simplistic, but sometimes not always a thought process when an excited submissive is on the other end trying to make a desperate connection with a Dominate who could be, or not be, that predator waiting for someone such as themselves. So in the interest of making sure that those are safe and can keep themselves that way, I wanted to share with you one credo that I use that has never failed Me yet.

“If your comfort level is compromised, your inner voice warns you, or it sounds too good to be true, be cynical until otherwise proven wrong.”

I feel that the online presence has opened up a whole new venue to those who may need an outlet, no matter how small, and to say that it isn’t real, is to insult those who find that it is to them. Although, on the other hand, the online presence has also found a very dark and dangerous side that I have, too many times, found Myself helping otherwise offering shelter to those who might have leaped before they looked.

I, as an erotic phone fantasy provider, have felt that the service that I can provide offer those who are unable to pursue this in any other format other than a phone call, an email or even a cyber camera. Just like it would take a connection in real life, it takes a connection in an online world. Communication and trust are just as important in dealing with each other online as they are in real life. Since I have participated in BDSM, I have learned that both worlds provide advantages and disadvantages. I am a complex woman and like the complexity of this life but do so with caution and urge those that pursue this do so as well.

I open my door to those who find themselves questioning their situation or even wanting advice. I am easy to contact, and easy to talk to. All I ask is that you be careful, be cautious and have fun.

Over the years, there has been much in the way of terminology that is thrown around. Most of which is terminology most “vanilla” individuals may not have even heard of let alone experienced. Today, I thought I would start with the most basic of terms that is heard quite often in the realm of BDSM & SM play.

Subspace (or sub-space)…

This term is used to describe what most submissive individuals find as a ‘happy-place’ where endorphin’s kick in after experiencing some type of triggering activity. Most of the time, subspace is accomplished when pain is inflicted. For some, it doesn’t require much and for others that We like to call, “pain-sluts” it requires a great deal. Either way, the subspace can be reached in many different ways and in many different levels.

Service sluts can typically find their space when in service. Whether it is sexual service or domestic service they find comfort and a safe place when put into action and left to do their thing.

Spanking sluts typically find their space very easily as well, or sometimes in more extreme manners. In one playful situation, I watched one Dominate take his submissive over his knee where he proceeded to spank her until her butt was quite black and blue. This took at least 30 minutes or more and about 15 minutes into it, she went from a crying, kicking, screaming and non-compliant submissive to a very docile and purring girl who when he was finished curled up in the corner and was left to her little world.

I have owned ‘rope’ sluts Myself, where I have literally watched My submissive take a huge leap from very coherent state to a state that some might recognize as a drug-induced high just by being touched with some good rope and feeling it across their skin. Although there are NO drugs involved (and I assure you if there ever is, they will not be welcome back in My play space again) there is a drug that our own mind that throws our own brains into a very euphoric state.

Endorphins, neurotransmitters that are used by the human body to give the body some type of signal that there is pain being inflicted and helping the body cope with making that pain a bit more distant. A natural pain killer. Some submissive’s have learned over time and experience that they can take these euphoric feelings and instead of feeling pain, feel excitement and pleasure.

As most are very aware, women have a higher pain tolerance than men, but I have had some men who I have called “iron-butts” in front of me that have built up a huge pain tolerance that is highly competitive with what I have seen some women endure on a consensual basis. The job of the Dom is to find that fine line of pain and pleasure and toy with it, cross it just a few centimeters and then come back bring the mind of the submissive back and forth to see where they can be pushed and toyed with and yet not cross it to a point where the submissive finds the pain to be too much and is snapped out of their comfort zone. Of course, there are times in which the relationship and the negotiation of a scene might encourage that huge push by a Dominate, but it should always be at the consent of the submissive.

I, personally, enjoy keeping My submissive in a constant state of awareness, not allowing them to become too comfortable with their state of mind. It also helps build up their tolerance so that playtime can be increased and new types of sensations can be introduced through out the scene. My job is to watch the body of the submissive, and listen to their moans and groans in hopes of finding that line and quickly stepping over it to push them just a little bit farther than the last time we visited that place. Each time this is accomplished there is a bond that is created between that submissive and that Dominate that will allow the next time to be just as intense if not more. This also allows the submissive to walk away with a sense of accomplishment and a deep seeded trust that is unique in it’s own way.

It is crucial for a Dominate to find that fine line and explore it as they see fit, but at the same time be very aware that everyone’s line is much different than the next. The variety of submissive that plays in our lifestyle and entrusts you with their well-being is too vast to even comprehend. Finding the right combination takes patience and is time consuming at times.

There is what some might see as a downside to helping a submissive find their subspace. That is what We call “subdrop” and the importance of “aftercare” by the Dominate…

*Note: This article is written based upon the position of Lady Velvet Noir. It is NOT necessarily the same opinion of every other Dominate, nor should it be. Everyone sees this lifestyle much different than the next. Should you see room for another subject or would like to suggest a subject please feel free to visit Lady Velvet at her website at: www.ladyvelvetnoir.com*

From bondage to swinging, private sex club caters to those ‘who like it kinky’

By ANN MARIE MCQUEEN — Sun Media

The Ottawa Sun

Miss Jenn has a motto for all the straight-up sex-loving vanillas out there: It’s only kinky the first time.

It’s not her only motto. This fem-domme — kind of like a dominatrix, though not professional — has loads.

The bottom line, for Miss Jenn and her counterparts in Ottawa’s thriving alternative sex subculture, is that the concept of kinky is entirely relative.

I meet Miss Jenn — who until recently was a dental office receptionist who was fired after running the dungeon at Ottawa’s first-ever Sexapalooza show last month — at Breathless, the city’s alternative community centre and private club.

No secret location: It’s at 318 Lisgar St., just above Venus Envy.

It’s all legal now, with the 2005 Supreme Court of Canada ruling that clubs allowing group sex on premises don’t harm society and shouldn’t be considered criminal.

Miss Jenn is dressed in shiny black to oversee the night’s festivities: A BDSM (an abbreviation for bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism) pure play party.

ATTRACTS ALL TYPES

An assortment of the club’s 300 members pay a $30 annual fee, along with a per-party charge, to come here on varying nights. Some whip each other to welts, others have multi-member orgies on mattresses laid out on the floor. One man just shows up in a diaper, drinks a couple of beers, and leaves. There are vampires and goths. Something called blood play. A growing number of participants from the gay and lesbian community.

And, of course, the swingers.

As for who goes, you’d be surprised.

“I have lawyers, I have teachers, I have men and women from the (Parliament) Hill. I have men and women who work in the private sector, a lot of people who work for (the City of) Ottawa, bus drivers, EMTs, just everything,” says Miss Jenn. “But then I have a lot of people who work in retail jobs, regular schmos who like it kinky.”

Miss Jenn, a 40-year-old divorced mom of two, definitely took the long way to Breathless.

She was one of four children who grew up on a farm in southwestern Ontario. Though she was the sole kid at her school to wear fishnets and a dog collar, she only stumbled on a kindred world of bondage and domination six years ago.

Frustrated with her sex life, she’d taken an extramarital lover who pointed her to a local group. An encounter in a chatroom introduced her to the first man she would utterly dominate: That included a tattoo and 24/7 contract of submission and service.

READY TO PLAY

“I thought I was the only freak,” she says. “I didn’t know there were other people that liked to be tied down or tie people down or put them in dog collars or humiliate them.”

Breathless is quiet by day. The front section is a no-sex, no-play social area. There are usually snacks laid out there. A row of windows onto the street are blacked out. The back half features futons and bunk beds. There are plastic sheets underneath the fabric ones. Containers with sterile wipes dot various tables.

Miss Jenn supplies the latex condoms, the lubricant, rubber dams and gloves.

There are wooden crosses and bondage tables, ready for that night’s BDSM party.

Before we meet, a man wanders in off the street asking about becoming a member. He’ll have a few hurdles to jump before that happens. Miss Jenn will have to like the look of him, and he’ll need to attend a couple of no-sex social events for her to get a feel for whether he’s going to fit in.

There are rules, too. Lots of them. There is no room for someone who can’t say no, or accept hearing it graciously.

There’s no gawking and members must sit on towels if bare or thong-assed. No naming names in public and no loud confessions outside the club about what goes on inside it. Near the end of our interview, Miss Jenn offers to flog me with a tassled, whip-like device.

I am tempted for a second, just to say I did, but ultimately pass.

Then I duck out into the daylight, hours before the party inside begins.